at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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