youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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