Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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