OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
