Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize