You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize