I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Are my feet made of real feet?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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