Are we in a gay sports bar?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
