Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
