my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
