Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish I only lived at night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
