What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
