i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
