Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
