question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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