we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
