Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
MIDGETS
????
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
