So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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