there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
