I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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