We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
