At least make sure they are 18
Why
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
