yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Randomize
