Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
