Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
