i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hippo gnu deer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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