i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize