But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
