My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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