I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
