I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
