I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
