i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
