She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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