? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
