office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
