I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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