Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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