cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize