Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
