he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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