Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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