It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
