There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
