Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
