god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
