so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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