No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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