I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
