just tell him i said nine months
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
