People with herpes should wear stickers.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
