all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You took a bar mat shot.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
