There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
