Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
