how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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