It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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