WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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