Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
