bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
