Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
