Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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