Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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