honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
