Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
