I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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