the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
