Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize