I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
