Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
