i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
