i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
