I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize