The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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