You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
